Regarding Ice Water ...

L:   Daddy I want to play with my iPad.

Me:  People in Hell want ice water.

L:  (laughing) People in Hell can't have ice water!

Me:  Why not?

L: (laughing) Because it will melt!  Its too hot!

There was a slight pause in the conversation at this point.

L:  Wait a minute.  Does that mean I can't play on my iPad?