Snakes may stretch out on the street or sidewalk to get warm in the sun. Snowbirds have figured out that its hard to get back up on their walkers and scooters before a car runs them over. Snowbirds are smart. 

When did the bottle become self aware and freeze over night?   

Did I mention it is twenty degrees outside?  Who wants to go swimming when it is that cold?  Maybe they give out gift certificates for psychotherapy to five year olds at Christmas too…

Picture a 38 year old father-of-two looking in the rearview mirror of his car in a Walgreens parking lot having just purchased a pair of tweezers to pull a marble out of his nose while his two kids are laughing their little asses off in the back seat.  Yeah, it was that kind of day.

My brain sometimes erases those unflattering things people say about me that do not seem to fit with my concept of myself.   Its sort of like having a verbal concussion.  You get beat about the head verbally and forget the following thirty seconds.

I explained that I did a lot of tedious work to which my five year old laughed and asked, “That sucks doesn’t it?”  As we drove down the road she stared out the window for a while in quiet reflection.  When she spoke next she was only half talking to me,  “Tedious.”  She let the word roll off her tongue and linger there for a moment.  “I like that word."

Rereading the email I decided that the question was somewhat rhetorical. Like when your wife asks where you want to go for dinner.  There are a limited number of options that are acceptable and she has already determined the correct answer.

During that time I used a Motorola Droid phone.  The one with the great commercials that made the Andriod operating system look cool.  This period of my life still marks one of the lowest points for me and my use of modern technology.  

To the north lightning struck and we could hear the crack and sizzle. My oldest took a step back into the house and asked me to come inside.

If you happen to bleed out and make a mess at the restaurant you and your family are responsible to pay for the clean up and loss of business during and after the cleanup phase.  

There also were no snacks.  No crackers, donuts, pastries, fruit, or yogurt on ice.  I drew from this that either they did not intend for this to be a long meeting, that they did not budget snacks for remote offices, or that the big wigs on stage didn’t think of things like this.

My mother regularly drives faster than I do.  But I think she rationalizes it is because her leg is a little heavier on the accelerator of her car ever since she had the knee replacement.  The metal knee weighs more and presses on the accelerator harder I guess.  It just isn't her fault.

As it happened, I learned my lesson that day ( for at least the day ).

 All gamblers lose at some point.

The person then takes your payment and thanks you profusely for allowing them to do something useful and wishes you and all your descendants a great day and future fortunes.  

But after five hours of six second twerking videos even I get bored and need a break.

Business Intellegence  showed up in a job posting today and that got me curious.  So I looked.  And I found it.  It sort of felt like finding the prize in a Cracker Jack box.  

Housekeeping does not keep Clorox Wipes in house.  They do not use them since they are too expensive.